MS PAINT: Lorde Vader

I woke up this morning thinking, "I'm going to learn how to use Photoshop for 2014!" I made this on MS Paint instead.

New Voice Mail Message

I used Text-To-Speech software to update the voice mail message on my mobile phone. It doesn't sound as clear when recording into my phone off of PC speakers, but it'll suffice.

This is the exact text I wrote so the female computer voice could pronounce everything, including my name:

This is the automatic voice messaging system for Billy know. If you are calling for alimony payments, please hang up and text message the phrase. I want my money dead beat. Followed by the (United States) dollar amount to this mobile number now. If you are calling to report an emergency, please hang up and text message the state of your emergency in the form of a Japanese "hai ku" to this mobile number now. To leave a voice message for mister know, please stay on the line and wait for the tone.

I was going to add a part about regarding calls that are "Sexual in nature," but it seemed like a long message already.

TRAILER: Antboy

Not to be mistaken with or have any connection to Marvel Comics' Ant-Man, who will be played by Paul Rudd.

Is The Flea some sort of pedophile out to kidnap Antboy?

TRAILER: Amazing Spider-Man 2

So many villains...



...I hope Andrew Garfield recreates this meme in the film.

DANGER 5 Christmas Wish List

Do you require last minute Christmas presents? DANGER 5 reminds you that they've got great presents to put under that fire hazard you call a "Christmas tree."

STALLION PLAYING CARDS. The last word in card-based entertainment.

MUCHACHO BREATH MINTS. A new best friend for your mouth.

MAZZARUCCI UTILITY GUITAR. Save it for someone special.

TANAKA PAPER WEIGHTS (MADE IN JAPAN). What happens in Japan stays in Japan.

MAZZARUCCI SHAVEISSIMO. Redefine your face.

KING OF BISCUITS. The regal way to start your day.

MORENO PRE-LIT MATCHES. Keeping you a light.



The Australian SBS series DANGER 5: Season One is not available on home video in the US. Season two is currently in production. Oh yeah. Kill Hitler.

TRAILER: Expendables 3

I hope there's a box office discount for AARP members.

TRAILER: Transcendence

It looks like Johnny Depp is uploaded to The Grid from Tron. Chris Nolan's long time DP, Wally Pfister, makes his directorial debut.

In a related note: "Deep thinking" computers are currently being developed and it involves creating programs that allow these new forms of artificial intelligence to learn on its own by analyzing mass amounts of data and forming patterns.

TRAILER: Journey to the West

Stephen Chow's latest film. Lookin' good, Shu Qi.

DATABASE ENTRY: Zatanna

TRAILER: Interstellar

Everything is coming up Matthew McConaughey! What are the chances Nolan let him go shirtless in a scene, like McConaughey does in most movies?

INCOMING TRANSMISSION: Spray and Go Whaaaaa?

There's no way it applies on that easily, but holy shit, lady. She basically pulled a Lionel Hutz on us.

INCOMING TRANSMISSION: His Majesty The Doctor

Intercepted images from two DOCTOR WHO television specials.

On the left, The Tenth Doctor (David Tennant) tells Ood Sigma in the 2009 Christmas special "The End of Time, Part 1" about accidentally marrying Queen Elizabeth.

On the right, The Tenth Doctor proposes to Queen Elizabeth during a botched attempt to lure out a Zygon in the 2012 50th anniversary special "The Day of the Doctor." He ends up marrying her with The War Doctor (John Hurt) and The Eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith) present.

That would mean, in The Tenth Doctor's timeline, the events of The Day of the Doctor" occurred between "The Waters of Mars" (November 2009) and "The End of Time" (December 2009). Of course, The Tenth Doctor has no memory of this after going back to his timeline at the end of the 50th anniversary special.